Jesus, Take the Vibrator

The Bachelor Season 25 Episode 1 Recap : ) FOLKS, HISTORY HAS BEEN MADE. FOR TWENTY FOUR SEASONS OF THIS GOD-FORSAKEN SHOW WE HAVE WATCHED MEDIOCRE WHITE MAN AFTER MEDIOCRE WHITE MAN GET SHUFFLED THROUGH THE BACHELOR SYSTEM AS THE LEAD, BUT NOT ANYMORE. Season 25 brings us our first ever BLACK BACHELOR, MATT JAMES, …

I Did Not Enjoy My Flight (I Want a Refund)

Season 24 Episode ? FINALE Recap. – Peter’s season of The Bachelor Something about Kelsey & Peter looking at the “romantic Cleveland, Ohio” skyline feels like me trying to hype up Peter and his season until now I have ultimately realized it’s all trash Listen… I’m obviously about TWO CENTURIES BEHIND posting this… No one …

Clare Crawley, Bachelor-Universe Veteran, Racoon Whisperer, and Sex-in-the-Ocean Goddess is our Next Bachelorette!

Monday morning ABC announced their newest Bachelorette for Season 16 of The Bachelorette; Clare Crawley, originally introduced on Juan Pablo’s season of The Bachelor (Season 18), who went on to have two stints on Bachelor in Paradise (Seasons 1&2), as well a run on Winter Games, a special Bachelor franchise show conjunct with the 2018 …

The Bachelor: Chilean Telenovella Edition

The Bachelor Season 24 Episode 6 Recap. Age Differences, Spanish Soap Operas, and a Lot of Bad Grammar “You made me found my damn voice.” ***I do not own the rights to these videos.*** Welcome back to all who have been here before & welcome here to anyone who has not! I’m here to recap …

Welcome To The Bachelor Jungle

The Bachelor Season 24 Episode 5 Recap. Cave Hot Tub Makeouts, Modeling for Cosmo in the Jungle, and the Story Behind Peter’s Infamous Face Injury How visible will this scar be??? Right on your mf forehead??? ***I do not own the rights to these videos*** Just when I believe there’s zero possible way for this …

Tale As Old As Bachelor Time: The “Right Reasons” Debate

The Bachelor Season 24: Episode 3 Kissing in a Cowboy Store, Who is Best in Bed (at Pillow Fighting), & One Aspiring Influencer Asking Another Aspiring Influencer “Do you work?” “Do you, like, work at all?” ***I do not own the rights to these videos.*** Hello & Welcome! I’ll be recapping The Bachelor Season 24 …

The Shot (Pop of Champagne) Heard Round the World

The Bachelor Season 24 Episode 2 Recap. More Hannah Brown, Code Red Champagne Scandal, & The Bachelor Franchise Helping Their Contestants Become Influencers ***I do not own the rights to these videos.*** Welcome back! Episode Two was potentially just as wild as Episode One, so buckle up & let’s get down to it! IMMEDIATELY, we …

The Bachelorette: Fantasy Suite Week

Let’s Talk About Sex, Bay-beeee! The “Fantasy Suite Week” as an entity has experienced an evolving cultural opinion and acceptance. On the topic of sex, TV shows from before the Sexual Revolution in the 1960’s treated sex as a taboo subject. The introduction of widespread, accessible birth control ushered in a new age, one where …