Let’s Talk About Sex, Bay-beeee!
The “Fantasy Suite Week” as an entity has experienced an evolving cultural opinion and acceptance. On the topic of sex, TV shows from before the Sexual Revolution in the 1960’s treated sex as a taboo subject. The introduction of widespread, accessible birth control ushered in a new age, one where sex was not just used for procreation, but for pleasure. Sex became more discussed, more common, and with more partners. By this point, American people on the whole are much more open to discussing sex and accepting it as a part of life.
Hannah is one of the most sexual Bachelorette’s we’ve had probably since Kaitlyn Bristowe (who was extremely controversial because she had sex with Nick Viall before the fantasy suite week, the ‘designated sex’ week), but even then, she seems more sexual than even Kaitlyn. She’s received a lot of heat about being a “Christian” woman that’s also sexual. Hannah defended herself on Instagram saying essentially to be an empowered woman (‘of God’) she owns her decisions and accepts & takes responsibility over what the consequences will be.
It’s amazing to have someone like Hannah be the Bachelorette because (I hope) it teaches young women everywhere that they are ALLOWED to be sexual, and that that doesn’t make them ‘sluts’. It makes them curious and everyone is allowed to do what they want with their body, and hopefully with the thought of safety always in mind.
Now to dive in, let’s talk about what happened this week between Hannah and each man, and what the implications are for the finale in two weeks.
I know this has already been discussed THOROUGHLY on Twitter but truly having the fantasy suite dates in Greece was an amazing call. Hannah is living not only in both the Bachelorette life, but now she is in Mama MIA. Which is her father??? I realize Hannah’s face is photoshopped onto Meryl Streep’s face, but that confuses me.
Part 1: Peter’s Fantasy Suite Date
PETER’S WEARING FLIP FLOPS.
As we all know, men are not legally allowed to wear flip flops according to the United States constitution. I know this poses a challenge to men; what shoes are they supposed to wear on a boat? I recommend either the athletic-strap male sandal or loafers or really ANY other shoe not needing socks. With all that being said, Peter still looks CUTE.
I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a dream of mine to do the Titanic move on the front of a boat with my lover someday.
HANNAH AND PETERS SEXUAL CHEMISTRY IS DAMN NEAR SOFTCORE, AND ITS 2019 SO IM HERE TO SAY IM HERE FOR IT.
Also, Hannah is DEFINITELYYYYYYY a Dom. Obviously, this makes me love her endlessly even more.
Evidence Hannah is a Dom:
When they are PASSIONATELY making out and the people actually sailing the boat put up the sail lmaoOOOO.
Overall my summary of their day is that they are literally both so hot separately but then become even hotter together.
Night Portion
It takes Peter like three different starts to tell Hannah he loves her, which again, we obviously know will happen because he’s the only one who hasn’t said it yet.
He tried the first time with, “So going back to hometowns”, and talked about how much she fit in with his family & how touching that was to him … Then an awk. pause…
“So when we were flying”, he starts another way, equating his love for flying to Hannah, how it made something he already loved even BETTER with someONE he loves.
And juuuust when we think Peter’s going to come out with it already, he hits us with some “It was weird, today I was like really nervous” bullshit. Oh, Peter, you’re nervous? What are you nervous about? Oh, you love Hannah??? Ahhhh I’m starting to see where this is going!!!
When Peter FINALLY MF SAYS HE LOVES HANNAH it is SO SWEET AND SOFT AND GENTLE.
Poor Hannah has been dealt with up to 30 men at one point all vying for her love. Half of them were damn clowns, so at THIS point I’m sure all she wants to do is get it on with Peter…. girl needs ta c*m!!
SUDDENLY we get the answer we’ve all been waiting for: Who is behind the “I f*cked in a windmill. And guess what? … We did it twice.” line?
PETER
The word windmill was used 4 times in these, like, next 10 seconds alone. WE GET IT ABC, It was Peter!!! We all knew they would have good sex.
THIS IS A SEX POSITIVE MOVE AND OVERALL PROGRESSIVE FOR SEX ON TV: THANK YOU, BACHELORETTE/BACHELOR FRANCHISE, FOR FINALLY SHOWING THE TUB OF GOODIES FOR BOTH SAFETY AND PLEASURE!
Hannah acknowledges in her ITM that she has no expectations going into the date with Peter but that intimacy is important to her. She thoughtfully describes how being physical together is just another form of understanding how you fit with another person, saying “my body is your body, my heart is your heart, my soul is your soul.”
Personally, growing up religious also meant growing up thinking sex was BAD EVIL HELL for most of my childhood/teenage/even early adult years. When I was dating my first semi-serious (semi meaning I was 17, serious meaning touching each others’ p’s and v’s), I was like this is EXHILARATING and TBH feels good!!! I was, however, internally conflicted because I thought every act I engaged in (even like… making out made me feel guilty like wtf!!! Kissing never killed anyone unless it was Kissin’ Kate from the timeless movie classic, “Holes”) was a “sin”.
I had to reconcile my “sin” with the fact that it’s str8 up fun!!! I have a healthy view of physical intimacy now, but I think it’s sad/hard for some people who are raised to believe sex is bad. Obviously, in certain contexts it can be bad (as well as illegal) if not consensual, the people engaging are not well-informed and are not being safe in a multitude of different ways, etc. But when you have physical intimacy between consenting partners, it really is a beautiful thing, AND it’s simply a basic instinct.
YES, sex is so beautiful when it is shared between two people who deeply care about each other, but it is also STILL dope when it is shared between two people who just met but agreed to get down together!! Either way, no one should have to explain their sex life (their partners, their “body count”) to anyone. All people, men, women, trans, & non-binary folks, are allowed to engage in sex or NOT engage in sex and both are both fine & valid.
The Next Morning…
My guess of the producers’ notes: Shot of clothes on the floor. Make it seem as though they were taken off haphazardly and without care. They were RIPPED off each other with uncontrollable passion, despite having to get all de-mic’ed before engaging in any sort of foul play. The point is received!
We’ve been calling Peter “Pilot Pete” all season when REALLY we should have been calling him ‘Daddííííí’ because dear LORDDDDDDDDDDDDD. This man is sexi. WOW.
Hannah comparing Peter to Zeus and herself to Aphrodite… to ME, a mere commoner, who has no extensive knowledge, or even barely ANY knowledge at all on Greek mythology, this checks out. Zeus (from my frame of context) is like the God of all gods??? And he is just, like, the top dog, a big, hot baddie. Then Aphrodite is ALSO the hottest goddess of all of them AND she’s the goddess of LOVE – i.e. Hannah telling us their sex was unREAL.
PETER.
PETERRRRR.
You KNOW better than to say, “We came together so much last night.” LOL.
Peter thinks his skills in-between-the-sheets just scored him a lifetime with this girl. lmaO. Not that I doubt that to even be true, but the CONFIDENCE is outstanding and I love it.
Thoughts After Peter’s Fantasy Suite:
Past leads (Ben Higgins, Nick Viall, Rachel Lindsay, and probably more) have discussed on various podcasts within the Bachelor world that some lead’s recommend trying to “protect your relationship”, as in protecting the person you end up choosing, by NOT having sex with the other two remaining contestants. I don’t really care either way since they’re allowed to do whatever they want, but I was interested coming into this week to see which route Hannah would go for. Without having seen previews for this week, I think I would have initially thought that Hannah might only have sex with the person she intends to choose at the end. But truly I do not remember the last time two contestants on either Bachelor or the Bachelorette have been more meant to have sex with each other, than Peter and Hannah. Even if they don’t end up together (which I think will end up being true), they BOTH needed to get a good fuq out for the pure euphoric experience of it.
Obviously, I feel very strongly they had amazing sex. I am so happy for both, I just am worried about Peter’s looming heartbreak.
Part 2: Tyler’s Fantasy Suite Date
Same order as hometowns? Interesting.
Peter is sexy in a boyish, like passionate way. Tyler is a sexy in a ‘bend me over, Daddi’ way.
Tyler and Hannah seem like just BUDDIES. They are talking to each other right before the massages start about Jupiter & their time there, and Tyler does a genuine full-face smile laughs at her. Just like a friend would do. : )
Tyler is being SAVAGE like basically, ‘I wanna fuq you right now.’ hahaha!!
THEN TYLER ABSOLUTELY SENDS IT WITH THE PORNO SURPRISE MASSAGE. Kids learn sex from porn now parents!!! Just, FYI!!!
Night Portion
Tyler and Hannah are talking about their past time together, and Tyler says he loved their dates because they’re, “things that we are good at.” I think he means to say he has loved their dates because they’re normal/simple because it’s like… I recall y’all not being too great at riding horses, lmao.
They have a generic conversation but then Hannah brings up the looming Fantasy Suite discussion and says, “I don’t want to have sex with you in the fantasy suite, because I don’t think that’s what our relationship needs. It would be very easy for me to want to do that.”
Tyler, the ICON, responds better than maybe anyone ever on this show has or would have. He was mature, and respectable saying he would never push her boundaries because he RESPECTS her. AGAIN, Tyler absolutely putting Hannah at ease and being understanding. A true king.
The number one take away ALL MEN, and in general people (including me), can take away from here is that Tyler did not QUESTION or push Hannah when she set that boundary. He allowed her to feel respected and validated in her feelings and needs, which at the end of the day is all anyone really wants. This the highest moral standard of behavior for how we can treat other people, and we should all strive to emulate!!!
Their fantasy suite is on a boat??? I don’t know how I feel about this… Would I like this? What if one of them gets seasick? Did they both agree to have a boat before??? A boat at night??? I have no desire to sign up to sleep overnight in a boat. If it’s not going out on the water during the day, why would you go just to spend the night there? I would NOT like that. Tyler is a Florida man so he’s not phased I’m sure.
The Next Morning…
Peter and Hannah were in BED so obviously had fuqqed, just from their faces, but with TYLER we know they didn’t do that. We first see them in the morning walking out of the boat to go talk on the dock. It removed any sexual undertones, unlike Peter’s date.
Last week I talked about how Tyler is mature about his relationship with Hannah saying, “I can be the one for her”, emphasizing CAN, because he’s aware of the situation with three other guys still on the table. Nowww we have Tyler talking in upright claims. I respect it more than contestants who talk like this earlier in the process because it seems more genuine.
For Hannah to say he was the most respectful man she’s ever been with, EVER. Wow. Tyler is a perfect example of an evolved man; still conventionally hot (so he could easily be a douche), but INSTEAD, he is supportive and understanding and allowing Hannah to be felt, valid, and heard.
When HANNAH STARTS CRYING WHEN TYLER LEAVES – WOWWWWWW! GOT ME IN DAMN TEARS! Sweetest moment of the ‘sode!!! I think this also means (and from other context clues but still) she knows she has to send him home next, but similar to sending home Mike, she’s sad she doesn’t feel more of a connection. She knows how amazing he is, and how much it will hurt him.
Thoughts After Tyler’s Fantasy Suite:
I’m such a Tyler stan through and through. I’m glad he is on this show to be an example for people everyone. And I’m glad he can make some money and living off of this all!!! He’s sadly not going to win.
Part 3: Jed’s Fantasy Suite Date
How did they get this family date set up? They’re going to a local family party in Greece? Were they like… calling all Greek families, will anyone please host us for this really popular American dating show? However they got it set up, this has to be one of the most authentic to the culture dates they’ve been on.
When Hannah pulls Jed aside… I think she thinks he’s gonna leave or something but she is IMMEDIATELY like, what’s wrong, which she doesn’t want him to go home since she’s going to choose him lol.
Obvi Jed’s got some problems outside of the show, but this episode proves that he is an EXCELLENT communicator. With the first time he and Hannah talk, and especially later on for the dinner portion of the night, he is so clear with WHY he’s bringing up the concern (he cares for her) and says exactly why Luke worries him.
He first sets up the whole premise when they begin to talk earlier in the day by saying I’m only bringing this up because I CARE for you and I want to see you with the best person you can be with. HOW MATURE.
HANNAH TALKS ABOUT HER CONNECTION WITH LUKE TO JED OMG. This is a reprise of when Jed walked in on Hannah taking off Luke’s shirt and instead of making her feel bad about herself, he just made a joke about joining in to put her at ease. AGAIN, Jed’s not wanting to get involved because of drama, but getting involved because he cares for her well being. I don’t ever remember seeing this on the show before, maybe an unprecedented level of maturity.
Jed with the ZINGERS. I got the air knocked out of me with this punch of truth.
Hannah does seem genuinely grateful that Jed brought up his concern, but ultimately she still tells him to let her make up her mind for once and for all. I think ultimately this beginning of a conversation with Jed about Luke is going to be a catalyst to Luke’s demise. Luke does himself in with the sex-shaming stint, but still, I think Hannah is REALLY either looking for an absolute yes or absolute no from their fantasy suite day/night date.
Night Portion
Hannah definitely saves her hottest & coolest & edgiest looks for Jed and smokeeeeeeee allleeeeeeeert, she’s bringing it tonight!!!
Hannah starts off the night with thanking Jed for having the courage to bring up his concern with Luke to her. She saw it as coming from a place of love and care, not jealousy and immaturity.
Jed replies AMAZINGLY saying, “Thank you for HEARING ME”. So often people want to give people advice when someone tells them about a problem/concern etc. More than advice, people want to be HEARD, to feel like they exist & have a voice.
Jed overall is on the spot here. This is a perfect example of how Rome wasn’t built in a day. Their conversation from earlier didn’t get resolved, but they continue to have a discussion into the night. It takes time to work through problems; to explore all edges and details of the problem, why the problem is happening, and then to best find a solution. Sometimes it’s not about making promises and explanations, it’s about listening to someone else and understanding them.
Hannah says, we good? asking essentially if it’s all solved and Jed’s like nooooooot so fast there, pal, we are NOT good. He goes on to explain how though their relationship has nothing to do with Luke and her’s relationship, it affects how Jed feels in his relationship with her. He lays the foundation of his concern, and keeps pulling and challenging her to get deeper and deeper to the source of the problem.
THEN JED COMES IN SIZZLIN’ HOT WITH ANOTHER ZINGER.
This is what Hannah has wanted this entire process. She has been challenging all the guys to be honest, but no one has been challenging her except JED. Jed is like STRAIGHT UP dude you’re making amazing decisions i.e. about me, Tyler, Peter, and one TERRIBLE decision with psycho Luke. Tyler and Peter keep Luke out of their time which has been wise this far along, but I am on Jed’s side on this. I have thought Luke was going home for like 4 weeks in a row now!!! He’s just done wayyy too much wrong, and not enough right, and NOT treated her like the queen she is especially compared with how the other three are treating her. It was revealing for Jed to challenge her on this because the other two didn’t. It shows their relationship is the strongest if he feels confident enough to bring up Luke, and then to continue to tell her why he thinks keeping him around in a problem.
And then ULTIMATELY, the truth comes out with this ZINGER:
DAMNNNNN Jed is just on the ball tonight. This is frickin’ insight dude, I feel like if anything Jed is pretty damn smart!
Hannah is like, wow, this is on the target. She’s both mad and impressed Jed knows her so well, better than she was consciously thinking about herself.
It’s interesting that when Hannah gets up from the table that Jed follows her. I feel like usually, the other person sits awkwardly at the table, but it just goes to show even if she’s mad at him, Jed still wants to be there for her. I love that they included the insane camera zoom, clearly, they didn’t expect him to get up either, hahahah.
It’s a sweet moment when Jed hugs her & rocks her, even though she’s frustrated with him and mad at the entire situation.
They don’t ultimately come to a conclusion, but they both said their peace, and they’re going to temporarily get over it to take advantage of the time they have together overnight. The best way of looking at it!
Sorry but Jed is so sweet when he’s said he was not meaning to hurt her by telling her all of this!!! I believe everything on TV XD
I’m sorry the frickin’ pool in Jed’s fantasy suite???? OBVIOUSLY, Jed is going to win from this alone he AGAIN has the best venue lmaOOO. Who would rather fuq in a windmill than like pool sexi stuff? SMH.
The Next Morning…
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Now we got JED in the BED which rhymes lmao! Alright, so they are like… nakey nakey? Like Hannah is nakey? lMAO? So they had sex too (which is FINE ONCE AGAIN) but YES, girl, get it done!!! Oh wait okay, JK, so little pink shirt or something IDK, but fine she’s not naked. She prob was tho!!!!
Alright… thaaaat’s very sweet!!! Love is all you need!!!
Also, I love the leaving w a bag shot lmao!!!! I love how they’re just like backpacks, which is what I would take too, but like… it is 2019 & to this day I have never seen a single person who looked cool with a backpack. Sometimes you can look PARTIALLY cool like, oh you have a cool backpack or whatnot, but the mere IMAGE of you a person wearing a backpack can not ever look good. If you’ve been looking for someone to tell you the cold, hard truth, you came to the right place!!!
Part 4: Luke’s Fantasy Suite Date
IM PUKING!!! Luke has the NASTIEST, toxic, opposite-of-swag walk I’ve ever seen. EEWWW. Also, he’s committing the cardinal sin of being a man and wearing flip flops. This is the only sin of importance in this episode.
Hannah, however, is looking like Miss UNIVERSE, like, she is having a fit OFFF! Zammmmm!!!
Lmao, Luke is a robot the only words he knows are “same”, “page”, “track”, and honestly that’s about it. Oh, and “lane” duh.
WowwwOOOOOOOW, I feel conflicted but Hannah and Luke’s embrace is insanely intimate and passionate, I’m, like, a little shook right now. Why does Luke look so genuinely happy? I’ve never seen a real emotion from him before this, lmao.
… Annnnnnnnd we’re back to hating Luke. “When I think of Greece, that’s what I think of right there,” says Luke about the SANTORINI ARGUABLY WHAT GREECE IS KNOWN for lmao. Sorry if this is bullying but I seriously can’t handle him.
This date is unreal just because of the Santorini, not because they are that good together or anything. Luke is such a smooth talker. You can tell Hannah is both hesitant and like… hmmm, tell me more.
Night Portion
Hannah’s looking like a ferocious baddie, and Luke pulls up in a PLAIN WHITE SHIRT, just like straight-up NORMAL THOUGHTLESS CLOTHES. Like, you know he’s about to come in here claiming some virginity pact YUCK.
Hannah is going into this night about to be like you finally were the man I thought you were, I’m SOOO excited to fuq because I’ve wanted to this whole time, and then Luke absolutely takes a massive psycho shit on her & it blows TF up. FINALLY!!! This is the reconciliation we are honestly OWED at this point. We all knew Hannah would pull through because she’s a damn queen, and because of the previews obviously.
IMMEDIATELY LUKE STARTS FUCKING IT UP WITH HIS ‘WHAT I WANT IN THE FUTURE, MY NEEDS’ BECAUSE ALL HE CAN THINK ABOUT IS HIMSELF AND HE CAN’T SEE OUTSIDE HIMSELF BECAUSE HE’S SO SELFISH. Ugh he’s just like truly horrible and watching him give this whole wind up speech about marriage just to finish with slut-shaming/sex shaming when he has told his freakin’ shower sex/god story like FIVE TIMES FOR ATTENTION!!!
Luke’s Gaslighting Hypocritical Lines:
“There are people that say they believe in some things but yet, like, they live or do completely differently” – YEAH, LIKE YOU & YOU HAVE TERRIBLE GRAMMAR.
“I’ve heard people proclaim their faith but yet they’ve said things like you know, ‘I’m excited for Fantasy Suites. I want to explore this relationship on a sexually intimate level’, and to me, it’s like, whoa, whoa, what… I don’t believe that’s something you should be doing.” – JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A SEX PACT WITH JESUS DOESN’T MEAN SHE HAS TO. LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS A SIN IN THE BIBLE INCLUDING PUTTING LIKE PURPLE CORD WITH BLUE CORD FROM LEVITICUS SO DEFINE YOUR OWN SIN AND LEAVE!!!
“I just want to make sure you’re not going to be sexually intimate with other relationships here.” – CONTROLLING A$$HOLE.
“If you told me you’re having sex or had sex with one or multiple of these guys, I’d be wanting to go home” – THEN GO HOME!!!
BUT LUCKILY OUR QUEEN IS IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT FOLKS, SHE IMMEDIATELY TURNS THIS THING INSIDE OUT.
Every single exchange in this whole break up is Luke saying dumb things and Hannah deconstructing them.
Finally, they are just arguing back and forth, back and forth, CLEARLY just NOT on the same page, when Hannah’s like, you know what, I’m just gonna wrap things up, folks!!! Again, she proves how thoughtful & introspective she is talking about how their relationship has evolved, but ultimately she’s tells him she’s finally fully okay letting him go.
She FLIPS THE SWITCH, and is like YEAH, YOU’RE A “SINNER” TOO. Hannah wiped Luke’s on the floor with the Bible lmaoooooooooooo!
We love a good reality theme defining moment. Hannah says the PIVOTAL, ULTIMATE LINE to Luke, “I have FINALLY gotten clarity on you, and I do NOT want you to be my husband.” Does this sound reminiscent of…
“The remaining photos I hold in my hands represent the women who are still in the running to become America’s Next Top Model. When I say your name, step forward to receive your picture. If I do not say your name-“
Luke not f*cking GETTING UP from the table when she’s telling him to is an exact perfect manifestation of what he’s been doing to her ALL-SEASON, like it’s HIS show, like he’s making the rules, and it’s like… noooooooo, buddy, you are LUCKY AF to be here!!!
Then he obviously majorly f*cks up because he only know how to control people and says Hannah “owes” him a few words. THEN Hannah actually loses her shit (rightfully so), and she’s like its time for you to GO, I F*CKED IN A WINDMILL, PLEASE LEAVE.
Why does Luke say, “Say what?” like he’s in a 2000’s Disney channel show??? WTFckkkk, he’s so weird.
Hannahs not a MF COWARD like Colton to talk about sex. We stannnnnn all the livelong day!!!
Luke FINALLY leaves, literallym damn dude you are scary! You do not CONTROL every decision you need to get that through your scary skull!!! Hannah lays out what she sees love to be and how Luke did not at ALL fit into that definition. She says, “What I believe love is, it’s loving someone unconditionally and wholeheartedly. If you love me, then you love me, and you love everything about me. You know there are flaws about me, but you love me through those flaws.” YES! YES! YES! IT’S TRUE. Hannah 2020.
Next Week Promo…
Oh my GODDDDDDDD the fact that I have to see Luke’s face again in my life makes me NASEOUS. He is SOOOO SCARY. SHE DOESN’T WANT TO BE WITH YOU DUDE, NOT THAT SHE THINKS YOU DON’T WANT TO BE WITH HER. YOU ARE SO DENSE, MY GOD.
Then we have promos for the finale but no sight of any men at all (i.e. we don’t know for sure any of the three will be there), but I feel strongly it will be Jed and Peter and Tyler bites the dust this week. This is fine for us even though we love Tyler because he has already made Bachelor Franchise history by becoming the first contestant while still on the show to reach 1 million followers on Instagram.
There’s not much to say about the finale week because truly it seems like anything could happen, so again, we’ll see how it all goes down, but I think somehow, someway, it’ll end up being Jed. Ta ta for now!!!
The Reality Web 