Season 24 Episode 8 Recap.

Victoria gives us a manipulation performance that rivals Luke P.’s gaslighting, Madison still doesn’t tell Peter the sitch, and Peter is in love with Hannah Ann despite her father’s skepticism

How you gon be mean to puppy dog Peter

***I do not own the rights to these videos.***

HOMETOWNS BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. This week I’ll be recapping Peter’s hometowns occuring in the great states of Iowa, Alabama, Tennessee, & Virginia: south heavy with a pinch of Midwest! Something to note… Peter picked four women who all still live at home/live in their hometown… Interesting. I think hometowns can typically be pretty boring because families are boring (SORRY), but this hometown week was anything but.

This week we learn that Madison is saving herself for marriage, Peter tells Hannah Ann he’s “falling in love with her” (despite already telling Madison the same thing) DESPITE her father’s pleas to not tell her, Kelsey tells her family she’s ready to get married to Peter, and Peter doesn’t even end up meeting Victoria’s family due to non existent drama!!! LET’S GET DOWN TO IT.

For some inexplicable reason, the episode starts with Peter doing a Colton-esque vlog ??? I didn’t understand when Colton did them, and I’m still not understanding why Peter is doing one now?  This is a reality tv show with cameramen who could… you know… just film him … but ok, lol. Peter says he’s excited to meet each of the women’s families and that his wife is in this group! Peter, how can you be so sure!

Peter truly wants to be an actor in my personal opinion

First up on the hometown docket is Hannah Ann in Knoxville, Tennessee… I seem to recall a certain someone’s recording studio was in Knoxville, Tennessee during their hometown…

Writing a song about their love “Written in the Stars”. Sad!

Also, I feel like whoever gets the first shown (not necessarily the order they occurred) hometown date never wins? Peter had the first hometown on Hannah Brown’s season (I thought he might go home after that until the whole Luke P. no sex thing went down), Caelynn had the first hometown on Colton’s season and went home that week… IDK, I’m pretty sure it’s a sign. But AGAIN, this season has no damn rules!!! Who is to say!!!

Nothing like The Bachelor perpetuating toxic masculinity!!! Only real men are strong versus… all other men that are 100% fully and totally just as much men.

Sensitive, in-touch with their needs & emotions men only!!!!

Hannah Ann takes Peter to an ax-throwing joint because nothing says Tennessee like the recent nationwide fade of ax-throwing! 

Peter is obviously not good at this. Let us not forget this is the man who ran face-first into a golf cart and smashed a glass on his head. I wouldn’t be either, Peter, I get it!!!

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Thennnn they start … actually chopping wood? Still in the ax-throwing arena? Hannah Ann’s dad is a forester so … in theory, this date makes sense but in actuality… it makes no sense at all. There’s also like a huge crowd that’s cheering them on??? IDK about y’all but everytime I’m in my hometown in a public place everyone cheers for each other and we all become immediate BFF’s, just like shown here!!!! Also, EVERYONE is wearing flannel. What IS THIS PLACE?

Ax-throwing to real ax wood cutting

Peter gives Hannah Ann a letter with the exact same prompt as the letter she gave HIM; all the “things he love about” her . Real original, Peter. I can’t help but feel this is the kind of shit I would have LOVED to have received in high school. He also wrote Madison a “scene” for them to do together post telenovela group date. Peter’s dweeby as hell, lol.

How cute you returned the exact thing I did for you and didn’t use your brain to think of something touching for me!

After the ax-throwing extravaganza, Peter goes to Hannah Ann’s childhood (and current) home to meet her family. It shattered my heart into a million pieces when Hannah Ann’s mom cries when she sees her!!! We love our sweet, kind mothers!

Awwwwwwwwwwww

IMMEDIATELY we can tell that Hannah Ann’s dad is NOT feeling this. IRONIC since in the premiere she says her dad is already talking about Peter like he knows him!!! I’m calling this bluff!!! Mr. Sluss has seen this show!!! He knows the stubborn dads get the most airtime, lmao.

When you know your daughter will become an influencer and finally move out:

Impressed

When you realize your daughter might get engaged to someone she’s known for a total of 48 hours on a tv show:

Unimpressed
Unimpressed

Hannah Ann’s sister gets choked up when they’re talking alone, saying how she could tell how happy Hannah Ann was when she walked in. Again, it’s like, let’s relax, but also, this seems very genuine and sweet. They do seem like a lovely family!

Same cry face

When Peter talks with Hannah Ann’s dad, he tells him that he plans on telling Hannah Ann that he’s in love with her, despite not telling HER this information. PETER, what are you DOING? I would be MORTIFIED if my lover said this to my dad before me?? PETER, WTF. Her dad has an AMAZING response. LMAO:

First, he’s in shock…

Then he’s like… you gotta be fucking kidding me, LMFAO.

THEN he’s like as a FATHER I ask you NOT to say that unless you mean it…

And FINALLY, he’s like, you know what, fuck it, I’m just going to command you. Do NOT say that to her, LMAOOOOO.

Peter’s like gotcha sir, yessir, loud and clear, 10/4 you GOT it no PROB! After they talk, Peter’s in his ITM’s saying how her dad didn’t want him to tell Hannah Ann he’s falling in love with her unless he really, really meant it, and it’s like NO, Peter, you STILL DON’T GET IT. He doesn’t want you to tell her unless you’re going to CHOOSE HER.

Literally, ONE SECOND LATER….

Your dad told me not to do this but I have never once listened to any advice and will continue to go on making my own bad decisions!

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Also…. This is the first time since Ben Higgins that a lead has told two separate people, he loves them. Infamously, Ben Higgins told both Lauren B. and JoJo (his final two) he loved them both. Peter told Madison he was falling in love with her with 6 WOMEN LEFT, and now Hannah Ann with FOUR WOMEN STILL LEFT. And it’s just like, PETER. You are not a contestant on this show, you are THEE Bachelor. PLEASE think about the position you are in. Be more conscious of what you’re telling each woman. Please understand you are on a TV show where all of these women will be watching your relationships with everyone else.  Whoever wins is gonna kill you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I fkn would!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hannah Ann tells Peter she’s in love with him again when they’re saying their goodbyes by the car. Peter’s like, “Say it again.” So, she says it again, and he responds, “I love hearing that”. LMFAO. Peter’s love language is DEFINITELY words of affirmation to the ZILLIONTH degree (followed by a close second, physical touch). He is quite needy, wanting to hear exactlyyyy, constantlyyyy how everyone’s feeling about him.

“I love hearing that” HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

Next up, Peter goes to Des Moines, Iowa for Kelsey’s hometown date. During their day portion, Kelsey takes Peter to a winery where they make their own wine because, you know, Iowa! Home of some of the best wine in the world!!

Even when Peter’s smashing grapes with his feet, he STILL finds a way to dance.

Peter I never thought I would say this to someone but STOP WITH THE DANCING

As someone who thinks feet are the nastiest part of the human body, this is absolutely REVOLTING.

I see this in my nightmares

They are legit using beakers and test tubes to make the wine like this is LEGIT SCIENCE. Hahahhahahah, but like… it looks like it’s all already wine, I’m confused about what they are mixing, lmaooooo.

Homemade volcano eruption science project vibes

Peter comes up with a brilliant name for their wine bottle: “Wine”. Like when a store sells guns and is called “Guns”, or food and is named “Food”. Very reminiscent of many small-town Indiana stores.

Again confirming Peter’s genius

After the winemaking festivities, Kelsey and Peter sit down to have a “serious talk” (per usual for these two). Kelsey is gearing up to tell Peter how she feels about him when he’s like well how DO you feel about me??? Tell me NOWWWWWW. DOWN, boy, DOWN. She’s GETTING there.

I feel BAD

Finally, it’s time for Peter to meet Kelsey’s family, and straight away I’m like HOLY CLONES.

Clone city

For dinner, Kelsey’s mom prepares Kelsey’s favorite, ANOTHER Iowa classic: CRAG RANGOON. Peter FLIPS because he’s never had it and but it has been a big topic of conversation?? I couldn’t tell you with certainty where crabs/Crab Rangoon are/is the most prominent in the U.S. (Baltimore? Maryland?), but I would STILL expect the person who has LIVED ON A COAST THEIR ENTIRE/IS A PILOT/IE WORLD TRAVELER FOR HIS JOB to have had these. Peter would be terrible at “I have never”.

Peter excites easily

After dinner, Kelsey talks with her two IDENTICAL TWIN SISTERS (JK, they are not twins but the sisters and mom look like PHOTOCOPIES) She tells them if Peter asked her to marry him at the end of this she would say YES. INTENSE.

Sensing some IMPENDING DOOM

Peter and Kelsey’s mom go to chat, and her mom asks him if he’s seen all the emotion Kelsey has and I’m like lmaooooooOOOOOOOO. Ma’am, if you only knew.

Kelsey’s mom leaves Peter with some ominous words; “don’t break my daughters’ heart”. I HATE when people say shit like this. People always say, “if you hurt my friend, I’m going to hurt you” and so on but it’s just like!!! Yes, I would hope 95% of people are normal and not psychopaths and not purposely hurt someone they are dating!!! However, people break up all the time and someone, if not both parties, are usually hurt. It’s just not a logical thing to say!!! Kelsey also has a 75% chance of getting heartbroken, ie. it’s way more likely than not.

I’m sorry Mrs. Kelsey it gonna happen

Kelsey’s mom cries as she tells Kelsey she’s scared for her because she doesn’t want “her sweet heartbroken”. PRECIOUS. Some beautiful mother-daughter relationships here.

25-sweet heart broken

At the end of the night, Peter tells Kelsey that “his heart has definitely fallen”. And I’m just like PETERRRRR. You can’t be telling literally everyone this!!!! Also, she GOES HOME this episode. Have some fkn CHILL.

Peter NO. BAD.

After Iowa, Peter is off to Auburn, Alabama (is the town called Auburn or just the college?…) to meet Madison’s family. I noticed when they greet each other, she did the same straight-leg jump she did on their one-on-one last week… Is she not wrapping her legs around him because… she doesn’t want to… straddle him?… omfg. 

Notable rival of Alabama where a one Hannah Brown went!!!

Madison is recounting her college glory days, as in YESTERDAY, and Peter’s like this is so awesome!!! Forget that Peter probably graduated college himself over SIX-SEVEN YEARS AGO. Madison shows him how to do their like… whatever cheer sign “war eagle”… and it is truly insane.

“What in the white people” – my roommate Gabbi

She takes him to their basketball gym since she was a basketball star & her dad is a basketball coach at Auburn. The head coach, Bruce Pearl, comes out to run some drills with them, and he brags about Madison saying how she got into two Final Fours in one season… I am not a sports girl, so I thought the Final Four was just like… March Madness so I’m confused but okay, Madison seems legit at basketball!

The coach explains to Peter how Madison’s dad (his right-hand man) was “the best high school coach” in the state, but that he didn’t hire him because he’s a great coach (??? Hmmm really? Hard to believe that wasn’t a part of it, lmao) but because he’s a great man. Then starts gassing up Madison’s dad as if she hasn’t enough!!! I’m sorry!!! I’m over the dad hype (I’m sure he’s a great person or whatever) but he looks like a 15-year-old child!!!

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They start doing basketball drills and Madison is SCHOOLING Peter so hard. As this season has proved, Peter has little to no hand-eye coordination. Madison looks DOPE though.

Madison looks baller

Peter does redeem himself with a good shot at the end, but this whole thing made Madison look really good.

Peter got lucky

Later that night, Peter goes to meet Madison’s family & her infamous dad. After their introductions, they sit down at the dinner table when we find out Madison’s family has a tradition called “the special plate.” Whoever has “the special plate” (this night it is Madison) gets a compliment from everyone at the table. They were doing this their whole CHILDHOOD?? I can imagine my brother just being like,  “I like that you’re a butthead” immediately setting my father into rage within 30 seconds of starting dinner, LMAO. Also, we had a dinner setting tradition, but it was whoever got an extra napkin was “the messiest eater” and we loved to berede each other for that. Different strokes for different folks!

80% Meat & 3 asparagus sticks lol

ALSO, now we see where Madison learned the bottom lash mascara application!!!!!! Absolutely no personal offense intended, Mrs. Prewitt, but PLEASE do not put mascara/eyeliner on your bottom lid. It will help you SO MUCH.

I’m spooked with all due respect

Madison’s sisters take this time to lay it on THICKKKKKK, lmaooooooooooooo. I love my siblings more than life, but those hoes would one thousand percent take that as an opportunity to shit on me.

“I like the way you’re such a role model” LMFAO

AND IF YOU DIDN’T CATCH THE END THERE, MADISON’S DAD DOES A WEIRD DOUBLE KINDA WINK AND I DO NO LIKE IT. NOT ONE BIT.

No thank you!!!

They are drinking SWEET TEA IN WINE GLASSES. Well, they do have younger children so okay, lol, BUT STILL. Christianity lies DEEP with this one. But does Madison drink???? Has she been drinking this whole time???? OMG.

Madison sits down to talk with her mom, and her mom just keeps repeating “I don’t know” about Peter which makes Madison cry and makes me sad!!! All she wants is the approval of her parents!! (Because she is still… newly an “adult”, mostly a child, NO OFFENSE. SAME, I WISH MY MOM COOKED ME DINNER EVERY NIGHT. No hate.)

This is also where we hear STRAIGHT FROM THE HORSES MOUTH (I think this is a saying) that Madison is saving herself for marriage.

Kinda uncomfy her parents are all up in her business!!!!! WTF!

When Peter and Madison’s dad are talking, her dad describes Madison as “so pure” and I’m PUKING. IDK. He then asks Peter with knowing her faith (ALSO I FEEL LIKE INSINUATING HER VIRGINITY) if he still thinks they’re compatible?? And Peter’s like yup!! Yup, yup, yup!!! And it’s like, oh no, babyyy. Oh nooooooooooo. You don’t even know. ;,(

If my dad said “She’s so pure ” to describe me to my lover that’s my cue to pass away, goodbye world!

After they leave Madison’s family, I’m POSITIVE Madison’s going to share one if not two things with Peter: 1) VIRGINITY 2) That she’s falling in love with him (he told her last week but she still hasn’t said back!!!) Yet NEITHER of those things comes up. They say their goodbyes! 

;,(

Last up for hometowns is Victoria in Virginia Beach, Virginia. Also, we know already since they’re showing her date last and with what the trailer teased that something 1) time-consuming 2) the most insane of all hometowns is going to happen. I HATE to say anything positive about Victoria, but she has the sweetest pupper ever. I had a black lab that died in September and I’m in my feelings seeing him. : (

I won’t lie cant stop staring at ass this entire clip wow

When I was growing up I had a house with a huge yard and corn/soybean fields behind it. Once my black lab (Apollo <3) got out and let me tell you he was BOOKING IT all around my house. My whole family tried to find him for HOURS until I finally spotted him in our front yard. This dog was BOUNDING towards me, galloping like a literal HORSE. I saw my life flash before my eyes but I knew we needed to catch him so he didn’t get hit by a car. I full-on POUNCED on my pup. Afterwards, he was was acting like a little innocent sweetie!! Like, I’ve done nothing wrong!! I wasn’t running away from my entire family trying to catch me for an hour!! Anyway, I love black labs. I do not like Victoria.

I wanna pet my pupper

I will, however, also give Victoria credit for taking Peter somewhere that is actually in tune with her hometown vs. the other girls (ax-throwing in Tennessee, winemaking in Iowa): old-time photos. They’re walking along this touristy/kind of shitty looking street when they pop in, and I’m like, wow, this is probably IS what you do in Virginia Beach. Peter is acting like this is the world’s most exciting activity, lmfao.  

After the photos, she takes him to a private Hunter Hayes concert!!!!!! I feel like Hunter Hayes is actually kind of big to be on this show? But he’s also a country artist so that fits. I TOO once saw Hunter Hayes at my local county fair in Indiana, LOL. I low key do love a few of his songs, including the one playing. HOWEVER, it’s a bit TOO on the nose for their relationship, LOL.

“I want crazy, I don’t want easy”… SMH

They do seem to be having a nice time together. Victoria even goes as far as to say she is the future Mrs. Weber. Literally, LOL considering what happens later this episode.

In no universe are these two meant to be

Just as Peter’s leaving the concert, someone calls out his name. He whips around and seemingly caught off guard saying, “wait… Merissa?” LMAOOOO. (Also, yes. Her name is spelled MER-issa. WTF.) The shot zooms into Merissa’s BLURRED face, I’m like what’s the point of that, LOL. She and Peter used to date (it seems like it was casual?) and she wants to give Peter some sage advice. She says you “deserve better than what you’re with”, literally says WHAT instead of WHO, like you don’t consider Victoria a person? She goes on to tell him how they used to be friends but have since had a nasty falling out, and that Victoria has broken up multiple relationships. Of course, this shakes Peter to his CORE. He’s like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Who DAT

Once it’s nighttime, we see Victoria pacing around outside her house, excited for Peter’s arrival. Victoria’s whole family is shown inside waiting for Victoria and Peter. Now I must say, I thought Victoria might have some Hispanic, Persian, or some other heritage/ethnicity besides just “white” in her, but looking at her family, it doesn’t seem like it? She kind of looks like her mom but that’s about it… Very interesting… BTW this is the ONLY time we will seem them. LMFAOOO.

Victoria barely looks like any of these people

When Peter pulls up, he is visibly distressed. Victoria picks up on this right away. They sit down on the stoop of her house and Peter starts by saying, “remember when you had an ex on our date?”, she’s like… obviously yes. He’s like okay, today “I had an ex there, too.” LMAOOOOOOO. AS IF THAT’S AT ALL THE POINT OF THIS STORY. IDK MAN.

“I had an ex there too” LMAO

He brings up how Merissa said that Victoria had broken up multiple relationships. Victoria’s like whooooom??? Meeeeeee??? WHO could I have possibly broken UP? Name ONE couple, PETER. Peter’s like dude, IDFK the details!!!

Whooooooooooomsttttttttt?

At this point, Peter’s clearly upset, BUT Victoria starts FLIPPING this shit back on to him!!!

What… is…. happening

Peter is like… are you serious right now I simply asked you a question? I’m like WHAT IS GOING ON.

“Excuse you what” JESUS

Victoria is being legit so rude to Peter, I’m like, hand over face emoji times a millionnnnnn. Who talks to someone like this? Much less their significant other of like one month? Oh, and also on NATIONAL TELEVISION? What in the HELLLLLLLLL? Victoria is wack.

Victoria is going off on Peter saying how she can’t believe he chose Merissa over meeting her entire family, Peters like ???????

Finally, it gets to the point it ALWAYS gets to with Victoria: she walks away. She’s like cut the cameras. I’m DONE.

Peter is looking at the crew like what in the FUCK is happening right now???

Peters like SO FUKN S
CUT THE CAMERAS
Same energy

She comes back like 30 seconds later, hahahahah. And she once again uses absolute witch craft to spin this conversation. THIS IS MANIPULATION 101. Peter!!!! For the love of GOD, use your brain. When you are with her = trouble/pain/confusion. She ain’t the one!!!

Intense emotion = love??? Not anger?? Not guilt??

Then she asks him why is he so willing to stay???? I’m like?????????? Literally, what does this mean??????? Also, Peter is like what???????? LOL, wtf are you SAYING?

WTFFF

Then, of course, Victoria is crying, spewing gibberish about how she wanted him to meet her family and how she loves him, and she finally gets upset enough that Peter COMFORTS HER. HE LOVES THIS SHIT. Peter loves to comfort and save. This is NOT healthy.

PETER CAVES AND COMFORTS, NOOOOOOOOOO

Then Peter just leaves??? I mean??? How much time has passed?? Or does she just not want him to meet her family but there would be time to still have the date??? I’m just so confused by this ENTIRE THING. At this point I’m like, okay thank GOD, Victoria will OBVIOUSLY go home he DIDN’T EVEN MET HER FAMILY. 

Aight, byyyyyyyye

Then her parents come out and she’s all distraught he left like it was his choice!!! It’s like, girl!!! You drove him to the edge/told him to leave, wtf!!!!

You aren’t the victim!!!!

The next day, Peter is talking to his producers in his hotel room saying how he “hates seeing her like that”, and his TAKE AWAY WAS that “she told me she’s falling in love with me” and I’m like LMFAOOOOOOOOO. PETER. Of COURSE, you would take have selective hearing for this ONE THING amongst the entire night crashing and burning. She duped you so hard!!! SMH.

PETER GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Then someone knocks on the door!! Who could that be??? Victoria. She comes in all smiley, like tee-hee! Remember when I exploded at you even though I was at fault??? Teeheeteeheeteehee.

Teehee!!! It’s just lil ole me who an absolutely venomous bish to you last night!!!

Victoria apologizes for “what happened last night”, Peter’s like yeah, you ruined the entire night for NO REASON.

That was 10000000% unnecessary

Then Victoria tells Peter she’s “falling in love with him”, and I’m like, THIS IS SO MANIPULATIVE. She gaslighted the SHIT out of him last night for something he simply just asked her about. She didn’t want to be honest about it so she starts attacking him??? I’m EXHAUSTED. Once again, to my complete & utter horror, Peter EATS THIS UP.

NOOOOOOOOOOO SEE NO EVIL HEAR NO EVIL

Peter LITERALLY says this to her:

“Feel like we have no communication skills”

I would really hope I would not be saying that to someone I am considering marrying!!! This is a pretty much “end-of-the-road” situation for me personally!!

“Trying”

OMFGGG. This is not The Notebook. You guys have no history. You are not meant to be because of all this shared (and put on by solely Victoria!!!) hardship. Intense emotion does not equal love. None of this makes sense. It’s sloppy. It’s immature, and I do not need it anymore!!! Victoria F. is Luke P. of this season? Not as bad but still manipulating Peter and tricking him into the top 3 exactly like he was trying to avoid!!!

Victoria ends this conversation like, it’s up to you now, Peter!!! I’M not going to leave because I LOVE YOU and I KNOW you like hearing that so I DARE you to send me home now!!! And still, I’m like Peter… you’ve clearly made a very large number of questionable decisions in the past, but I truly believe at THIS point you have learned your lesson!! And yet at the end episode, we find out, you have not LEARNED ONE DAMN THING.

This ain’t it

After they hug goodbye Victoria gives him a picture of them from the old western photos place and I’m like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is all so CONFUSING and MANIPULATIVE and MAKES LITERAL NO SENSE.

At this point, I’m like dear god, please let Victoria leave but in my bracket (yes we have a tournament style The Bachelor bracket, mind yo business) and in my heart, I KNEW Kelsey was going to bite the dust this week despite ALL THE VICTORIA B.S.

MORE MANIPULATION TACTICS

OK YES CONFIRMED IT’S THE PHOTO. WITH LITERALLY “MR. & MRS. WEBER” WRITTEN IN A HANDWRITTEN NOTE. SMDH.

NOOOOOO

The next day is the rose ceremony that will take us down to the TOP 3 girls ie. FANTASY SUITE DATES. When Kelsey comes in, she tells Chris Harrison she told Peter “she loved him”, and Chris Harrison’s like WOW, well THAT says EVERYthing and I’m like… oh no, no, no, it means nothing, you are still going home, honey!!

Nooooooooo, Kelsey, you poor THING

When Victoria comes in, Chris asks her what she thinks going to happen that night. She’s like… Hopefully, I’m hot enough to get to fantasy suites!!!

I’m somehow going to inexplicably make it despite Peter’s better judgement!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VICTORIA AND KELSEY ARE WEARING SUPER SIMILAR DRESSES. IM SCREAMING.

SYMBOLIC

Peter arrives at the rose ceremony and it is time to BEGIN. How do we feel about everyone’s look? I feel like Madison’s pantsuit looks prom-esque (with all due respect) but I guess a pantsuit is a cool move, Hannah Ann’s cute but… just like so much of her titties out!!! Like don’t get me wrong they look great but DAMN. Also standing in her short dress with her legs not together, I’m like ahhhhhhhh, my high school choir teacher would be having a HEART attack watching you right now!!!

Girl, shut your legs!!!!

The first to get a rose is Hannah Ann, and I’m like that’s not THAT surprising but I did think Madison was going to get the first rose (because he likes her the most??) So, I’m like this coupled with telling Hannah Ann he’s “falling in love with her” means she’s his second fav.??? I thought the order of roses was going to be Madison, Hannah Ann, then Victoria.

Has Hannah Ann moved to a much closer second behind Madison???

Then Madison gets a rose next and I’m like yup, yup, right on schedule, moving right along.

Madison “white-people-passing-on-the-street” smiled

And thennnnn, Victoria gets the final rose, and I’m like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Kelsey doesn’t react but I’m like omfg, she about to go OFF.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Surprisingly, Kelsey leaves pretty much calm (for Kelsey!) and she and Peter exchange goodbye without any substantial parting words. Kelsey’s like, I’m absolutely shocked, and I’m like… sadly, Kelsey, we are not.

Kelsey, thank you for giving us so much amazing content. I wish you nothing but the best!

I really gotta say, post-Champagne-Gate scandal, I did not think we would ever see a world in which Kelsey AND Hannah Ann are in the top 4!! AND they’re friends?? What a character arc! Goodbye, Kelsey, I’m SURE we’ll see you in paradise!!

Peter announces to the three remaining girls, Madison, Hannah Ann & Victoria, that they are going to Gold Coast, Australia. Everyone’s hype, except for Madison who is tweaking about fantasy suite week because she STILLLLLL hasn’t told Peter about virginity dealio!!!!

The trailer for next week sets up Madison to pull the same move as Luke P. giving Peter an ultimatum that if he gets “intimate” with any of the other girls, she would leave. I’m like oh fuckkkkkkkkkkk. It looks like Peter DOES have sex with one (or both?) of the other girls and Madison finds out and is like aight, I’m OUT. Then he has to like go FIGHT for her but I’m just like oh dear god, I cannot believe we are getting this ultimatum two seasons in a row! No one wants their significant other to be getting it on with anyone else!! I’d be annoyed!!!

Ultimatum
THREE WOMEN IN LOVE WITH

In the trailer, Peter also says he’s “in love with THREE WOMEN.” PETER, OMFG. I am almost 99% positive a lead has never claimed to be in love with THREE people, only TWO. GEEEEZ. Peter truly could probably get down with polygamy and benefit from it I believe.

Next week are the infamous FANTASY SUITE DATES. At this point it’s VERY clear Peter wants to bang Victoria. But like… Hannah Ann is so hot as well??? But Madison he loves the most??? So MAYBE he would respect her wishes?? But then he is also Peter ie. always thinking about sex? Only time will tell, but at this point, I would put money on top two being Madison and Hannah Ann, if Peter can just FINALLY come to his senses. See you next week!

Published by Erin Weber

Brazen Bachelor Franchise Fan

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