Season 24 Episode 7 Recap.
Victoria Has Yet Another Meltdown, Kelley Takes a Nap, and Peter Overall Exhibits Questionable Judgement
***I do not own the rights to these videos.***
Better late than never 🙂 This was written before I watched Episode 8 so please FORGIVE ME for my delay. This week The Bachelor goes to Lima, Peru. The NEXT week is hometowns ALREADY, omGOOOOOD. This season has FLOWN BY. I truly believe something insane is going to happen at the end, ie. why they wanted to add in that extra episode last week and essentially be a week ahead of schedule. I DON’T KNOW. I’m still processing everything. This season has been so crazy and unpredictable due to Peter’s poor choices & letting the producers manipulate the shit out of him, lol.
The episode starts with Peter face-timing his mom in his hotel room. He’s acting like this is normal & kosher, but let us not forget typically all Bachelor contestants are not allowed to have their phone, internet, even MUSIC. NO connection to the outside world, so this FT is huge. But the producers know his parents are great TV so they allowed it. Also, his family is SO CLOSE so it makes sense his parents want to be heavily involved in his decision making.
Peter tells his mom his biggest fear is someone not feeling the same way about him as he does for them. He keeps telling his mom he KNOWS this works, and I’m just like, Peter ???? Again, I just must say, Peter has RAPIDLY, IN LARGE QUANTITY drank The Bachelor kool-aid. He truly, truly believes this process will work. Statistically, Peter, your chances aren’t great.
After the phone call with his ma, Peter starts walking around the city of Lima. He talks about how he completely fell for Hannah Brown, but was utterly blindsided when she sent him home. Any time the leads talk about their previous The Bachelor/Bachelorette lover that’s when you know that shit was INTENSE. I’m pretty sure Hannah Brown never once talked about Colton (The Bachelor season she was on as a contestant before becoming the lead on her season) because she just wasn’t even that into him?? But I remember JoJo (The Bachelorette Season 12 (and because I recently re-watched her season on Amazon Prime, lmao)) said multiple times she wants the love that “Lauren and Ben found” (She was on Season 20 of The Bachelor, Ben Higgin’s Season, and Lauren B. was the winner). I’m just like, damn y’all!!! I can’t believe you loved this TV show person as much as like, IDK, any previous real-life relationship.
P.S. Lauren is now married to country artist Chris Lane, and they are actually very funny on Instagram, I recommend a follow, lol.
Meanwhile, the girls are all sitting around on the hotel couches, date-card style, talking about the upcoming hometowns week. Madison says “it’s hard” because she feels like she hasn’t spent more than five minutes with Peter in “like, forever”, and I thought this was a great time to clarify something… You may think these people get a lot of extra time with Peter that we don’t see but that is NOT the case. I think Nick Viall said on his podcast (Viall Files, it’s my second fav. Bachelor recap podcast after of COURSE, Bachelor Party by THEE Juliet Litman) said he probably spent 48 hours or less with his winner the entire time. You spend SOOO little time with the other person especially those first few weeks when there’s still TWENTY people you legit have 10-15 min conversations with them.
Surprise, surprise, Peter shows up at the girls’ hotel instead of a date card. He gives them a very intense speech about “being ready” and “seeing a future with him”. In my head, the ONLY mature women here (not a child LIKE ME, BARELY can drink alcohol and just graduated college) are Kelsey, Kelley, and Natasha. Now we all know it was a god damn miracle Natasha has made it to the top 6 compared to the screen time of the other 5. Amazing work, Natasha. However, you WILL be going home this episode, I’m absolutely certain of it. So Peter basically has Kelsey & Kelley as the only mature women left and then three CHILDREN Victoria F. (She’s the oldest of the remaining women since she turned 26 while this was being filmed, which was according to her is “so old”), Hannah Ann (LEGIT 23), and Madison (LEGIT 23 AND IN HER INTRO PACKAGE SHE WAS WALKING AROUND HER COLLEGE like this person has not even BRAVED the adult WORLD).
The next day, the women get a date card, and Madison gets a one-on-one date that day with Peter. POOR NATASHA!!!! She has STILL NOT HAD A ONE-ON-ONE. This shit is RIGGED.
Madison, PLEASE STOP with the bottom lash mascara like your eyeball is a goddamn spider; NO. There only needs to be mascara on the top lash.
Madison meets Peter on a pier near a marina, and he just picks her straight up instead of doing the weird koala jump hug and it looks lol.
I’M SORRY for all the JUDGEMENT, Madison, you really are growing on me, but you look straight out of a frat darty and do NOT even try to tell me different.
They’re exploring the fishing village of Pucusana being all sweet and fun and cute skipping stones. Peter’s in ITM’s saying he knows Madison takes it slow, and SPOILER ALERT (only if you haven’t seen this episode) but the trailer at the end reveals Madison is the VIRGINNNNNN they have been alluding to all season!! This makes soooooooo much sense and I will unpack this all later. But this is MF foreshadowing, y’all!! Shit’s gonna hit the goddam FAN.
Next up, they go on a really cute little boat ride, and I’m just like… holy shit… he LOVESSSS her SO much.
Peter brings up how he came to talk to all girls because he wanted to stress how serious this whole “process” is for him. Madison responds saying that was hard because, “like, I don’t want you to doubt us” because… the truth is… I CAN see a future with you. Madison… do you even know what your job will be? Do you know where you will live? No disrespect, but UGH. Peter replies saying, “thanks for telling me that”, lmaooooooo. This man does not know many words, LOL, but that’s okay. Then they kiss weird and it does truly kind of look like… Madison… does not know… how to kiss very well, IDK.
They RLY start going to town on the making out, and Madison says “I’m so freaking glad I got this date” LMAOOO, these are the strangesssssst things to say but they both say wack-ass shit.
Peter says Hannah Brown “blindsided” him when she sent him home to him seemingly unexpectedly (the day after they banged four times) and he doesn’t want to get blindsided again and it’s like AGAIN…. foreshadowing…. Blindsided by both Madison 1) Being a virgin (on purpose) 2) Wanting to STAY a virgin for the foreseeable future (before marriage). I’m worrrrriiiied.
Back at the house, Kelsey and Hannah Ann are talking about Madison wanting to ask Peter about his faith because she wants her husband to “lead with faith” and “be a spiritual leader.” They are just saying these things casually, and I get it being from Jesus-ass Indiana, but still.
Also, I feel like religion has been coming out (obviously Christianity only, lmao. This is comprised of all white people, a large amount from the south) a lot in the recent seasons (a lot with Hannah Brown and NASTY Luke P. During his hometown he takes her to his Bible-study-group-thing where he tells his Saw-Jesus-In-The-Shower story. Another moment, when Hannah ICONICALLY finally realizes he’s a JACKASS and tell him she had sex twice and Jesus still loves her!!! ICONIC.
That night Madison and Peter go on a dinner date while the rest of the girls are at the hotel sit waiting for a date card. And we have… more… yup! dancing:
Kelsey starts off by saying she loves Madison, but every time someone doesn’t come back her chances get better. Natasha’s like… ummmm yeah, bish, at least you’ve had a date! That’s how I feel every time one of you hoes gets a one-on-one!!
But now FINALLY, she gets a one-on-one but GEESH.
Approximately once a season, someone doesn’t get a rose on a one-on-one date. It usually happens later on in the season when things are getting serious, IE. the stage is set, and we ALL know the fate Natasha is about to meet.
Madison and Peter seem to be getting along SWIMMMMINGLY and you can tell Peter likes her a LOTTT (probably the most). Madison says she likes Peter because he’s so “vulnerable”, “real”, and “raw” which she has been saying since the FIRST episode. She’s saying the same exact things before she knew him as she does after she knows him much better… just seems… sus.
Madison loves her family as much as Peter loves his, so they do have that going on for them. But also… Madison has… daddy… issues? She’s like I NEED someone EXACTLY like my dad… Psychologists… is this okay?
And THENNNNN she drops the JESUS BOMB.
Listen… I am the FIRSTTTTTTT to understand these Jesus lifers (I USED TO BE ONE). And this is not just like the regular people of the Christian faith… Jesus-lifers are 1000x more than that. EVERYTHING is about Jesus, through the lens of Jesus, it’s all they can talk about or think about or ANYTHING. And I am not at all hating on religion of any variety but this specific section of Christianity is real and it’s INTENSE and if you’re not on the same level you will not be happy.
I’m from northern Indiana. There’s not a city for HOURS in all directions, so I GET this intense god Christian thing. I legit used to have a purity ring?? Like I was like I promise?? To not have sex?? But then I got way too mf horny, lmao. I feel sad for Peter knowing this shit will NOT work out unless you are on the same level of intensity for religion but at the same time… Peter, you CHOSE the youngest people in the POOL. Madison is TWENTY THREE. There were signs, Peter, and you ignored them!!!
And earlier in the season I was hating on Madison for being young and blah blah blah that’s still true but she does seem nice and fun, but TRULY unobjectively looking at age, I still know RIGHT HERE AND NOW this shit will NOT WORK. I’m TELLING YOU. Either Peter would have to step his shit up (literally going to church every week, maybe multiple times, praying all the time, reading the Bible before bed, telling children Bible stories, ETC.) or this shit will NOT work out.
Peter decides after this… not convincing moment of “being on the same page” about faith to tell Madison he’s falling in love with her (reminder, she has not said it before this unless they didn’t show us but they would have shown us!!!! Trust me!!!!!!). At this moment, I’m like PETER, you’re not an actor just come OUT with it already!!!
And she responds by saying…. “I’m so glad you said that. Like, so glad.” LMAOOOOOOOOOO.
Obvvvvvviously, Madison gets the rose, meaning, Peter will go to her hometowns next week. So one rose down, three to go this week, but 5 girls left. Peter says he’s “never been to Alabama”, but are you telling me in all your years as a pilot you have never, not once, flown to/from Alabama????? I mean maybe he’s not counting it if he didn’t leave the airport but still, lmao.
The next day is Natasha’s one on one and I just gotta say something!!!!! Natasha notices that his bandage is off IMMEDIATELY, but Madison DOESN’T. Hmmm. What does it MEAN?
They are exploring the Plaza de Armas in Lima doing one of the “explore the city dates” which are some of the better dates you can get because they’re what you would be doing if you were a normal person?
They’re walking amongst all the street carts and Peter’s like it smells so good then he FREAKS out when he realizes a cart has his favorite dessert, arroz con leche, his grandmother used to make!! That’s so sweeeet.
And it wouldn’t be a one-on-one if there wasn’t, you guessed it, DANCING.
Natasha is telling Peter about her brothers and her parents and it’s like !!! yes girl!! Try to get that hometown!!! But ultimately, I think you’re way too 1) cool 2) smart 3) accomplished for Peter, so I hope you are not too sad when he inevitably sends you home tonight!
Back at the house, Kelsey gets a one-on-one date from a date card. Victoria starts whining about how “it’s so hard” because “everyone else is confident in where they are” but she’s not… BISH, give me a fkn BREAKKKKKK. It’s SO EXHAUSTING WATCHING YOU GET SPECIAL TREATMENT (TWO ONE-ON-ONES) AND STILL COMPLAIN AND FREAK OUT EITHER RELAX OR GO HOME, PLS.
Later that night, as Natasha is walking to the evening portion of the date, Peter’s in his ITM’s saying how he is falling in love with Madison (23-year-old, Hardcore Jesus-Lover)and he doesn’t know if he’s there yet with Natasha (31-year-old, lives in NYC, Event Planner, badass). They sit down together, and Peter has the mf AUDACITY to bring up how Natasha said she wasn’t there yet with him last week (PRE-ONE-ON-ONE, IE. SHE WAS UPSET VICTORIA GOT ONE BEFORE HER, I WOULD BE TOO), and if her mind has changed since then, while HEEEE already knows he’s gonna send her home??? Idk, Peter is indecisive as hell, so I GUESS it’s possible he hasn’t made his mind up going into this but also, I DOUBT it.
Poor Natasha… like we ALL saw coming… tragically does not get a rose and handles herself like a QUEEN. Why the FUCKKK does peter pick up the rose??? JESSUSSSSS PETER.
We stan Natasha. She has only brought us laughter & sanity! Ily Natasha!
The next day is Kelsey’s one-on-one and her and Peter are four-wheeling/ATV-ing in the rolling hills of Pachamac, Peru. Now THISSSSSS date would be so fkn FUNNN.
Kelsey proPELS into Peter’s arms. This girl does her damn squats and it shows!!!!
After riding around for a bit, they run up this steep hill to look out at the view. They are legit so out of breath, LMAO. That shit looked steep.
Peter asks Kelsey what she envisions in the future as her family. She wants to work a few days a week and be home a few days a week with her kids, and it’s like that’s fine! Nice! Sweet!
Between the day and the evening portion of Kelsey’s date, Victoria & Kelley talk about whether or not Kelsey will come back from her date or go home. Victoria’s like, well she’s been a part of drama so I can see her not coming back. BISH, ONCE AGAIN, ARE YOU JOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKING. DO YOU HAVE 0.1% OF SELF AWARENESS? LIKE WTF. But Kelley’s immediately like no, she’s coming back, lmao. He loves that emotional shit. I LOVE KELLEY.
During their dinner, Kelsey tells Peter about her recently rekindled relationship with her father. She hadn’t spoken to him prior for TEN YEARS after her parents’ divorce. Dude that is WILD. She had to forgive him for essentially abandoning their family to try to have a relationship with him. That is TOUGH. Peter’s like I don’t understand that at ALL, like AT ALL. I do NOT GET THAT. My parents are in LOVE. I have a PERFECT relationship with BOTH of them. Peter, we fucking GET IT.
He says “even though you haven’t had that model” IE PARENTS TOGETHER, and also says “your view of love isn’t tainted” like BISHSSSSSHHHHHHHH. YOU DO NOT HAVE DIVORCED PARENTS. You DO NOT KNOW HOW THAT AFFECTS SOMEONE. Like, let them speak for themselves instead of just like assuming that “taints people’s view on love” or that they are incapable of growing up and having a loving spouse and family because they’re parents aren’t together??? Peter, good God. I can’t stand you anymore.
Ultimately, Kelsey gets the rose which means she too will be taking Peter to her hometown. Peter loves all these obscure ass states like he could have been going to NYC with Natasha (actually, IDK if she’s from there or just lives there now. Also, it’s interesting to think about how all four women he picked all still live in their home state and have never left home, which no hate because you can save a lot of money and that’s cute to love your hometown….. but ….. hmmm)
The next day is the dreaded three-on-one with Victoria, Hannah Ann, and Kelley. Kelley is in her ITMs leading up to it about how she’s not excited to be on a three-on-one with “two children”. ABCs trying to give her this villain edit and it’s like no!!!! We one hundred percent agree with you, Kelley!!! I can barely deal with Victoria F. for two hours each week on my TV. I cannot even IMAGINE existing in the same space as her for WEEKS.
Peter pulls aside Hannah Ann first and Kelley’s like, aight, Imma take a quick nap then. Hahahahhahaahahhaha.
Literally, what in the FOOK in Hannah Ann wearing??? Sneakers and black jeans and a satin fancy-ass blue shirt, this makes NO SENSE.
Hannah Ann tells Peter it’s been weighing on her “very heavy” that Peter flipped out on her on their one on one for acting “perfect” all the time, LOL, i.e. he wants TEARS, people. She tells him it’s just taken some time to let her walls down, but that now she’s IN IT.
She gives Peter a list of TWENTY things she loves about him and I’m just like… I don’t know if I can come up with twenty things I love about my boyfriend I’ve been dating for two years…. JK ILY BAE, but you get my point. I do not believe you even know 20 facts, let along “things you love” about Peter at this point. But, OF COURSE, Peter eats this RIGHT UP and LICKS THE PLATE.
Meanwhile, Kelley is sincerely straight CHILLIN (love), but Victoria starts ???? freaking out ???? over ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? NOTHING.
Then it’s Kelley’s turn to talk with Peter. He asks her while they walk to a spot if she’s the only one sitting there ie. where tf is Victoria? ie. he already knows she’s freaking the fuck out.
Peter asks Kelley how’s she’s feeling about them and she’s like I have fun with you, I like being around you, our lives make sense together, etc. and she’s like just because we have FUN and are not SOBBING constantly doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with our relationship. Peter’s like… I disagree…
He asks her “is this more than just fun for you?” and she starts laughing because that’s obnoxious she’s like well duh and starts laughing and Peter’s like this is NO, this is SERIOUSSSSSSS. CRY FOR ME.
Peter and Victoria talk at last and it’s IMMEDIATE DRAMA. He asks her like… are you in or are you out? cuz like… if you’re in I gotta meet your whole family and if you’re out then I can’t be wasting my time no mo’ hoe!!!
She’s like I can’t BELIEVEEEEE you would even ASK ME. Ugggggggh, U ARE SOOOOOO ANNNOYYYYYING. Kelley, I GET it.
Victoria is literally like whining and being vengeful like a CHILD. Peter’s like why are you being so rude? She says, “I’m not. You’re just always in a MOOD.” Peter’s like what the FUCKKKKKK ARE YOU SAYING?
Then Victoria’s like okay… I’ll tell you the reason I’m so upset… because (sniffle, sniffle) I don’t want to get to the end and …and… lose you, and at this point, I’m SCREAMING. This is SO FAKE AND MANIPULATIVE. SUCH A LIE. SO WRONG. SO NOT TRUE. GIRL, we both know you just came here for the followers and now you’re pissed you’ve made it a little TOO far and you’re trying to sabotage everything before you end up winning the whole god dang show. That’s the biggest load of bull I’ve ever heard I hope Peter does not believe this, but he OBVIOUSLY DOES.
After talking with all the women individually, he tells them he doesn’t need dinner to know who he’s going to send home ie shit’s going down RIGHT the fuck NOW. Peter pulls Victoria aside first, rose in hand, and they walk towards the car…. IE. SHE IS GOING HOME. I was like I’m ONE THOUSAND PERCENT sure right now this hoe is OUT. He starts talking to her very seriously and stern saying how he has appreciated their time together seeming like he’s about to send her home when he tells her “I want to continue” I’m like holy SHIIIIIIITTTTT I’M PISSSSSED.
He tells her he’s loved what they have even though it’s not conventional (YES ALSO NOT HEALTHY NOT GOOD) and that he DOESN’T MIND A LITTLE CRAZY, and I’m like PETER your decision making at BEST is poor, my GOD.
Once Victoria has the rose, I’m like Kelley, your time is nearing an end. Although I must say, he definitely doesn’t even like Hannah Ann that much? Of Kelsey, Madison, and Victoria F. who have all already received roses, he is into Hannah Ann the least! He walks back to Hannah Ann and Kelley and gives them both solemn speeches about how he’s enjoyed his time with both of them but ULTIMATELY, Hannah Ann gets the rose and Kelley’s like…. Rufkm.
Peter and Kelley go off to say their goodbyes and this is where we get Hannah Ann full-on throat SOBBING that has been in the trailers for a while now, but it just honestly made me sad and I did not expect it to be under these circumstances. Poor girl is putting SO MUCH INTO THIS (whether it be to make it farther or for Peter, lmao, she knows her chances of being The Bachelorette just went up by one trillion but also if ANY of these girls end up as The Bachelorette I would be both PISSED and SHOCKED.) and I think there was probably just so much tension built up it just came exploding out of her after it was all said and done.
Kelley and Peter exchange brief goodbyes and Kelley leaves without even a hug. She doesn’t say anything in the limo, and she doesn’t cry. I LOVE YOU KELLEY. You are a strong, badass, cool person, who is not emotional (I envy this) and I’m glad you were on this show for a bit of normalcy among the chaos. I wish you the best, Kelley!
Hannah Ann and Peter go back to all the girls in the hotel for some reason? Maybe just because there wasn’t a rose ceremony? And Kelsey BOLTS off the couch SO excited to see Hannah Ann and it’s truly amazing we went from this…
To this! Time can heal all wounds!
And now EVERYone is hugging everyone?? It’s giving me legit Big Love vibes; 2000s HBO TV show about polygamist Mormons, lmao!
In the trailer next week, we get a BOMBBBBB dropped on us… Madison is a VIRGIN. Again, this does NOT SHOCK ME, the intense Christianity and the CHILD-BRIDE-NESS ie. just graduated college in the SOUTH. No one should be surprised by this!
However, it IS surprising it has taken THIS LONG for her to TELL PETER. It’s also different from Colton because he was just a virgin because ???????????????? No one wanted to get it on with him ??? (with all due respect. I wish him the best!) But with Madison, she’s purposely a virgin because of religion and will continue to be one until she’s married. Now I just KNOW this is not going to work because Peter’s extremely sexual and he has already had sex MANY-a-time with MANY-a-girl and he’s not going to want to wait to have sex before getting married TBH. TRY IT BEFORE YOU BUY IT. I’m honestly pissed at the Bible for making a whole generation of people think that’s it’s not okay to have sex!!! Obviously, you want to be old enough, and mature enough, consensual and safe, but ultimately, sex is good!!!
Virginity is a CONSTRUCT. People have ALL different kinds of sex so who is to even say how to exactly define it! However, the ideology on waiting for MARRIAGE is just hard for a couple PRACTICAL REASONS: 1) You need to TRY BEFORE YOU BUY. You would NEVER buy a car without test driving it. You NEED to know if you like having sex with someone before you commit to a lifetime of sex with them!!! 2) That shit is not pleasant the first few times, especially for gals!!! It takes a while to figure out what in the hell is going on! I remember when I was going to youth group like middle school/high school church I legit was like I am going to be a virgin until marriage because I’m a good Christian and listen to the Bible so yes this is all right! I obviously could not practically do this, lol.
BUT they used to tell us a metaphor that was like every time you have sex, you give away a little of your cookie. You don’t want to finally find your husband/wife, just to have no cookie left to get them (????????????)! As a YOUNG IMPRESSIONABLE MIND, I was like what the FUCKKKKK. I’m going to be like… not whole and like broken??? Like I don’t want that??? Literally WTF. Like it’s NATURE. IT’S NATURAL. PLEASE HAVE SEX. Okay DAMN. I’m done.
Lastly in the trailer, we have the infamous shot of Peter’s mom sobbing and saying “Don’t let her go. Don’t let her go.” Everyone has been speculating who this will be about and at first, I thought it was not going to be someone specific, just like don’t let your wife go or something like that. But now…. I kind of do think it will be about someone specific. They’re setting it up for Madison to go home after Peter has sex with someone else in the fantasy suite (Victoria F. or Hannah Ann? Both?). So I guess it seems like it will be about Madison? But I honestly do NOT KNOW how this show is gonna end, all I know is that it’s going to be wild.
I have a few final words. First, I just want to state my HARD stance on the fact that I do not want ANY of the women who were on this season to be the next Bachelorette. The ONLY person I would even tolerate would be Kelley, but I don’t think she’d be that good. It needs to be someone who can be shaken up a bit, lmao. My vote is for Hannah Brown round 2. Or someone else from a past season because all of these girls would be unbearable.
Ultimately watching that trailer and trusting my instinct there’s no way Kelsey doesn’t go home after hometowns. All three women are in formal dresses, ie. look like they have fantasy suite dates, DUN DUN DUN. And I just don’t think they have that much chemistry… he just seems to like the other three more. But also you never know with Victoria F.’s temper tantrums so I could see her going home. Hannah Ann and Madison will be the top 2 I think? But ALSO, until this date I was like… does Peter even like Hannah Ann that much? IDK. He definitely wants to pick Madison since he told her he was falling in LOVE WITH HER before she even told him!
People keep saying how Peter is acting like a contestant and it’s like… yes this is literally true! Peter! You can just be throwing this around!!! You have FOUR women left. PLEASE use some DISCRETION. Same with the “best kisser” comment about Sydney. Whoever you end up with is going to be PISSED.
I’ll see you next week for Hometowns, peace!